


Silent Blossoms

by dark_angellic_nerd



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Fictional Disease, First fic on this site lmao, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Light spoilers for the main story maybe?, M/M, Written before I played V's route whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 08:50:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12453843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dark_angellic_nerd/pseuds/dark_angellic_nerd
Summary: Jumin suffers from Hanahaki disease due to unrequited and conflicting feelings.





	Silent Blossoms

**Author's Note:**

> Welp this is my first fanfic. I hope that you, the reader, enjoy what I've written lmao. I wrote this before playing V's route, so those of you who have played (and suffered the immense emotional pain) might find V to be not consistent with his character in Another Story. I hope that that fact would not distract you from my story and that you'll enjoy it anyway. I appreciate any critiques on my writing style, since I'm pretty new to the whole fanfic author thing lololol.

A lone figure sat alone in the darkness, illuminated faintly by the pale moonlight streaming through the thoroughly wiped window behind the raven haired man. A silent sigh left his lips as Jumin reclined in his black leather couch, the now familiar feeling of loneliness becoming his companion. 

How long has it been since her death? The thought came fluttering in like a butterfly, lingering in his mind like the wafting fragrance of her perfume. The image of her was still so vivid and vibrant, like the bright and cheerful person he had grown to know her while she was alive. 

Those chartreuse eyes, glistened with joy and the naive curiosity of a child. They were clear and unpolluted by the evils of society. He felt that her eyes saw the true self within him, even the void that plagued his heart. She was definitely different from all the other girls prior; they saw only his affluence, but she, she wasn't interested in her own personal gains, just devoting herself to help those in need. It simply fascinated the man to see someone so selfless. 

It was only natural that she'd pair well with him. A twinge of jealousy pulled at his heart as he saw the look in the pair's eyes. Crystal orbs of turquoise seas sparkled with affection and love as they focused solely into those beryl jewels set into that lovely fair face. They were simply made for each other. That look… It simply made him wish that he could have such treasure to behold, to be proud to have it to himself. To have it be his, and his alone.

No. Stop.

What kind of person was he to be jealous of his best friend’s happiness? He should be happy for him, not sit here pining for something that was never meant to be his. Rika, was never meant to be his from the start.

Pop. Strong deft fingers coiled around the corkscrew, pulling out the compressed wood plug with a satisfying pop, the sound echoing throughout the empty penthouse. It only emphasised how alone he was in his own home. God, if he ever needed a reason to drink, tonight especially was the night to drown his sorrows, wash them down in the crimson liquid and bury them in the grave of the void in his heart. It wasn’t like him to dwell so much on such memories, but somehow he just felt oddly sentimental and he wanted nothing more to do with this. 

He poured the wine out into the crystal glass, beautifully cleaned and polished. Crimson liquid gracefully swirled around in the glass, releasing an aromatic smell into the air. As he held the thin stem, he stared down onto the smooth surface of the wine, seeing his blank expression stare back at him. But his stormy grey eyes told the truth of the torment that wrought his heart. The faces of the happy couple swam through his mind, haunting him. 

However now, he’ll never see her again. He’ll never see her smile, even if she was in another man’s arms. He’ll never hear her laugh, even if it was his best friend who made her laugh and not him. He’ll never see her happy again, even if it meant that she would be happy in his best friend’s company. As long as she was happy, he would be too. He would be alright with standing by the sidelines, cheering the both of them on, wishing them all the happiness in the world for their future.

At least, that’s the story he always kept trying to sell himself. 

For a businessman who always succeeded in eloquently charming everyone into signing deals with C&R International, he sure sucked at selling himself on that argument. 

Lifting the glass to his lips, the businessman took a swig of his wine. Fire burned down his throat as he downed a mouthful of that glittering liquid in his hands, his face scrunching up in distaste for the drink. God, what was this bottle? Luxury wine, made with top quality grapes. Under normal circumstances, he would've enjoyed that excellent Merlot, his favourite type of dry wine. But now? Wallowing in his own sorrows, the crimson drink merely tasted like substandard commoners’ swill; sour and bitter. He supposed it suited his mood at the moment.

The hours seemed to fly by as he sat alone, drinking. Even Elizabeth had quietly slunked away, to curl up at her fluffy cat bed to sleep. Just what time was it…? He fumbled through his pockets, looking for the coldness of his smartphone to check the time. Ah. Found it. Holding the phone in his hands, he felt the all too familiar weight of the very same device he used to receive calls in his work. Bleary, bloodshot eyes squinted at the display on his smartphone, trying to read the time against the cold blue glow. 

3 am.

Five hours had passed and he squandered it all just feeling sorry for himself, letting himself drift away in his own self pity. How pathetic. Green glass bottles littered the scene surrounding him, the evidence of his own indulgent pity party.

If only he was here, he would've stopped him long before he got to such a state. Jumin recalled all the times prior in their high school years how the quiet man had always been the voice of reason whenever he was about to do something rash or impulsive. He had always stopped him from making a great deal of mistakes that he would have lived to regret. 

Jihyun “V” Kim. The person who stuck by him for as long as he could remember. They always had great fun together, and they were always there for each other when either of them needed support. It was a marvellous treasure that Jumin felt so fortunate to have; it was incredibly rare for childhood friends to remain close throughout the years. He wanted to keep it, and cherish it forever.

A bittersweet smile started to grow on his face as he recalled the dreams the pair shared with each other. V promised himself that he'd be the best photographer the world would ever know, and he swore that he'd be the best boss in his father’s company. The two of them would laugh and betted on who would be the first to realise their dreams. It really felt like nothing the world could ever throw at them would bring the duo down. Nothing could ever come between them. Or at least that's what he hoped would stay true. 

He thought back to all those times he spent with V. They first met at a party the adults had then. Jumin had always followed his father around to these events, where the ladies dolled up themselves in caked make-up and the men dressed in their most expensive clothes, engaging in sickeningly saccharine conversation and laughing in falsified mirth. He couldn't take all the praises the ladies gave to him to butter up to his father. 

All the adults in the room spoke for their children too, telling them to parrot rehearsed lines like they were all supposed to and were expected to put on an act. As a result, he gave up trying to socialise with those his age. He could tell that it was all fake and he tired of it all.

Wanting to escape, even if it was for a brief moment, he ran out to the garden outside, seeking refuge from this superficial world he was born into. As he stopped to catch his breath, his eyes laid upon an odd figure that shuffled amongst the plants. That was where he met V, squatting down in the dirt to take pictures of the flowers. The first thing that stood out to the perceptive boy was how beautiful the young photographer looked. Was it even right to call another male beautiful? He certainly suited that word, with his delicate features, so soft and fine that he almost looked like a porcelain doll. Even with his knees scuffed with dry powdery dirt and shallow scratches on his hands from the bushes, he looked flawless. 

“Oh, hello. I didn't expect to run into another person here. You came from the party too, I assume. My name is Kim Jihyun, it's nice to meet you.” 

That voice. Gentle and calm, like the clear and smooth lakes his eyes borrowed their hue from. For a moment, Jumin was at a loss for how to react. He didn't have his father talking for him now, and it was truly just between him and another who looked about his age. 

“... Han. My name is Han Jumin. And likewise. It's nice to meet you too, Jihyun.”

“Do you like taking pictures too? Here, you can look at mine if you'd like.”

Since then, he always followed V to all those little nooks and crannies around the neighborhood, watching in quiet amazement as the young shutterbug snapped up pictures of hidden beauty in everything. A crack on a concrete wall somehow looked like the most fascinating thing under his camera lens. He enjoyed seeing the enthusiastic look in those teal eyes, they just sparkled with pure glee as he proudly showed him all that he had taken. He admired the passion the photographer had in his art, and the joy was simply contagious.

He remembered how much V treasured his little camera. It looked well used, the tiny white printed numbers and letters fading off in the places he always held it, but every single time Jumin saw the photographer, he noted how carefully and lovingly he treated his camera. He was always careful to wipe the lens with that special cloth, and handled the camera like a historian would with a priceless historical artefact. He almost wanted that for himself; to be treasured so much by V, treated like he meant the whole world to him. … What was he even thinking… He shook his head as he rubbed the temples of his head. He really should watch himself better, and stop himself from getting into such a state. 

As they grew older, the pair’s paths started to diverge, each one starting to take up subjects and joined clubs that more closely matched their interests and aspirations. But they still remained just as close as they always had been, making sure to always meet up for lunch at any opportunity they had. He rarely ever smiled, but somehow found himself chuckling along to V’s little sarcastic quips. 

He soon found himself spending as much time as he could around V. It always made him happy to just be around that man after all. He'd find any reason to, no matter how trivial it was. … Come to think of it, he never paid any mind to any of the Valentines he received from anyone, only keeping V's. He was sure that he kept all the cards and gifts V sent him too, for any and all holidays. 

He was happy to be with V. He is still happy to be with V. To be with Jihyun. Forever, standing by his side. To make him happy and see that smile grace those delicate features. To protect him from harm's way whenever he could. To listen to all the adventures he had when going abroad to take photographs, capturing the beauty in everything, no matter how mundane they first appeared to be. 

He already knew he wanted to be by Jihyun's side, and he promised himself that he would. He was happy when that man was happy. 

It just drove him crazy how distant V became when she left them all. He tried to smile and assure the RFA members that everything was fine and they’d hold parties again, in her stead. Jumin knew better though, he could tell that something was weighing heavily on that man’s soul, even beside Rika’s sudden passing; he just absolutely refused to speak about it no matter how many times he asked him. He could lie to the other RFA members, but V can’t lie to him, the person who had known him for 20 years. 

So why couldn’t he just tell him what was wrong? If V just said something, anything, he could help him, even if it was just a little. He hated seeing him act like this; so mysterious and secretive. When did this divide come between them? The both of them always confided in each other whenever something was troubling them, so what was different this time? Just what had changed…?

A rushed chink came from the glass as Jumin set the glass down on the coffee table quickly. Gripping onto the fabric of his shirt, his face contorted into an expression of pain. He felt it stab right into his chest like a sharp dagger. This again… They seemed to haunt him more frequently now. Was it because of the stress of work? God no, if it was, why did this pain start off as a mild ache in high school? He was more concerned with his grades than taking up the reins in the corporate world then.

Mentally steeling himself, he shut his eyes as he prepared for the all too familiar pattern that was about to hit him. He felt his chest tighten before he coughed violently, each one knocking the wind out of him. But, something was different this time. 

He felt something tickling at the back of his throat. A mixture of morbid curiosity and worry took hold of him. Just what the devil was there? Coughing, he forced the foreign object out of his body, until he had it in his hands. 

Looking down, he saw it. A Narcissus flower, perfect and pristine. It’s snow white petals seemed to glow as the moonlight reflected off of them. Even while covered in his saliva, it simply beaded up into small pearls, serving to amplify it’s beauty. 

Tears begin to well up in his eyes as he trembled weakly, laughing softly in disbelief. Narcissus flowers, the flowers of unrequited love, named in the tragic tale of Narcissus and Echo. He had only briefly heard about this phenomenon of people coughing up flowers from Luciel. Hanahaki Disease, as he called it. He thought it was just another of his nonsensical blabberings and paid little mind to it. Yet here he sat, holding this perfect blossom in his hand. Perhaps Luciel’s little story had more truth than he gave him credit for. 

What did he say again… Jumin racked his brains, trying to recall just what was it Luciel told him about this unusual infliction. No matter how hard he forced himself to remember, everything past that bit was nothing more than a hazy mess, lost to forgetfulness. 

He couldn’t take it, not knowing. He needed more information.

Turning his attention to the phone in his hands, he quickly typed in his strange occurance into the search bar. If what Luciel said was true, there has to be documented cases of such a phenomenon somewhere. Immediately, links to medical journals appeared on the results page, the cold blue links glaring at him from the stark white background. He pressed on one and began to read. 

He read case after case of others who started showing the exact same symptoms he had, and he finally had a name to put to this mystery. Hanahaki disease. A disease arising from feelings of unrequited love. Those afflicted with it develop symptoms of chest pains and shortness of breath as a result of the flowers that grow in their lungs, and as the disease progresses, the sufferers start to develop a severe cough and the blossoms may get dislodged and be coughed up. Should the disease be left untreated, the sufferer would eventually asphyxiate and suffocate to death due to the flowers obstructing their airway. There were only two known cures for the disease: one being surgical removal of the flowers, and the other being having the person of the sufferer loves to love them back. 

Death. The thought of dying at this point in his life sent an uneasy chill down his spine. He can’t die now, there were still so many things he wanted to accomplish in both his personal and professional life. He wanted to prevent that from happening, and he had to do something about it. 

Jumin took in a deep breath, attempting to calm his racing mind. Don’t get ahead of yourself, slow down. It would be prudent to analyse everything from the top. He decided to tackle the elephant in the room; the fact that this disease indicated that he had one sided affections for an individual.

Unrequited love? Just who did he have feelings for? There are only two people who he had been close to: Rika and V. … Was it Rika? She was a beautiful lady, both in appearance and virtues. She was easily the obvious candidate, right? Was it really so simple as pining after the woman who had left the world far too early? If it was her, he was essentially doomed to die then, loving someone who couldn’t ever love him back. No no, it can’t be.

Refusing to believe his presumed death sentence, he tried to entertain the idea of him being in love with V. Immediately, the teasings from Luciel about him being gay flooded his mind. God that can’t be true. So what if he never had been involved with a female romantically? So what if he preferred to keep to the company of his best friend, instead of actively looking for a date? That doesn’t necessarily mean he was gay. What a ludicrous claim. Right?

He thought about his memories he shared with V, remembering how happy he was just being around him. V was the person who could put anyone at ease, who could put him at ease and forget about his troubles. 

He knew even as a young child that in an ideal world, adults typically fall in love and marry. A man and a woman, together in joyous bliss, swearing by their undying love at the altar. He knew that someday both him and V would fall in love, marry, and start their own families.

… In an ideal world that is. He knew all too well just how flimsy those platitudes could be, watching his father go through lady after lady. Jumin wanted nothing to do with such a superficial and material world. He didn't want to go through that same cycle in his life.

He was just content with the company of his best friend and himself. He didn't need the comfort of a woman, as his father often like to claim that he himself needed. He recalled how much he’d be willing to give V; if he asked for the world, he knew he’d go to the ends of the Earth to make it happen.

… He’s always kept V in mind, hasn’t he… 

God. How blind was he? It's Jihyun he's loved all this time. All those times he's glanced over at V and Rika, he realised he's always fixated on how happy the gentle soul was, and he felt a little more disheartened each time. The day he heard V tell him about his engagement to Rika, he felt his heart shatter, but not because he lost any and all chance with Rika, no. He lost his chance with Jihyun. 

Everything he thought he felt for Rika was merely a projection of how he truly felt for his best friend since childhood. He never once dared to reveal his feelings, the fear of losing the person whose he’s been close to for all those years silencing those words. He treasured V’s presence, and he was afraid of ruining the bond they shared. 

But, what now? What was he going to do now that he knew what was at stake for him? He can’t just ignore this; he’d die if he did. It said that this illness could be easily cured by surgery, right? So he’d just get the procedure done and he and V could just move on with their lives and everything would be back the way it was before. He can't place any more burden on Jihyun's shoulders. He's already grieving, and how selfish would he be to give him another to complicate himself over. No, it would be best to just get the procedure done and both of them can just move on like nothing ever happened. He wouldn't have to suffer this pain, and neither would Jihyun have to deal with this problem of his. He's got enough on his plate after all.

But something at the back of his head nagged at him. Something in his gut just told him to stop and think about it first. It wouldn't be good to do anything rash after all. Breathe, Jumin, think. Was it really something so simple as this? There had to be catch. It would be too good to be true; to be able to carry on as if nothing happened. He can't take any chances, especially not when it concerned his health.

As fast as his trembling fingers would allow him, he quickly searched for more information. He felt his heart drop as he skimmed through the medical journals written about those who had chosen to undergo the surgery. All the patients who have undergone the procedure emerge without memories of the one who had stolen their hearts. They lost all feelings of love for the person who used to have their affection, regarding them as nothing more than any other passing stranger. 

That wasn't what he wanted to hear. Sighing, he dropped his phone onto the couch cushions beside him and let his head hang in defeat. He expected some side effects of the procedure, but nothing quite as awful as that. Knowing that now, he couldn't believe he actually considered undergoing the procedure. 

How could he. 

Money wasn’t the problem for the entrepreneur; it didn’t matter how expensive the surgery was. That was irrelevant. It was the fact that there was no way in his mind to put a price on the sentimental value of all of those years spent with that teal haired man; those memories were priceless. How could he even think of doing such a thing. No amount of money in the world could ever come close to compensating for losing any one of them. Jihyun was the one who stood by him whenever he just needed a friend. He was the one who could genuinely empathise with his family troubles, and not offer mere sympathies. Jumin couldn’t lose all those precious memories, especially not if it meant he’d forget all that Jihyun had ever done for him. He couldn’t lose his dearest friend. 

Was there no solution to this… Stuck between a rock and a hard place. If he had the surgery, he’d lose all those precious memories, and he’d lose his best friend. If he stayed silent, he’d die, leaving V behind when he needed his support the most. And if he confessed to V, he’d be burdening him with the knowledge that his best friend had been in love with him all this time and was dying because of it. He couldn’t drop such a bomb on him, especially not while he was grieving the loss of Rika, his fiancée, the lady who he loved with all of his heart. He also stood the chance of ruining their friendship along with it, and he’d lose the person who meant the world to him.

It was all terrible. None of the options available to him were easy to make and none of them had any favourable outcome. But he had to do something. But which decision should he go with… 

A lone figure sat alone in the darkness, illuminated faintly by the pale moonlight streaming through the thoroughly wiped window behind the raven haired man. A silent sigh left his lips as Jumin picked up his phone from the black leather couch, saddled with the weight of his complicated feelings on his shoulders. 

Staring at the messenger app, he let his finger hover over the icon, wondering what he should do now.


End file.
